The Beginning Of The END
I am not having such a faulous day. My back & neck locked up on me right after my shower about 9 hours ago. I’ve had severe upper & lower back pain with right rotator cuff pain that is fucking excruciating sometimes, but when my neck or back locks up, I can’t do much of anything. This is the tip of the iceburg when it comes to my history of SEVERE mental & physical problems, poorness, NO HEALTH CARE for long periods of time. Even at periods of time when I had healthcare, I spent so much fucking money on prescriptions, surgeries, deductibles, etc., that it fucking made my poor ass even poorer.
I came from money, only to have my family lose everything when I was 15. I’ve always had to rely on myself. No one in my family is either willing to help me, understands my situation or just plain has no money to help. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to struggle with the things I have had to go through.
I could easily be the most bitter, negative person in the world. But I strive to be as positive as I can be, because no matter how much time goes by, I know either something will work out or someone will help me.
Have you seen the movie As Good As It Gets? I often think of the scene when Nicholson pays for a doctor to take care of Helen Hunt’s son who has had many health issues. Lately I often think of Sicko. Even though I’m 31 now, I still believe a moment like this could happen to me.
I HAVE NO HEALTH INSURANCE AND AM FUCKING BROKE.
This is my first post about the dark side of my life, mixed in with interesting, positive things about myself and the things I like. A lot of my links will be discovered through digging, which is surely the greatest website idea ever.
I love you all who take the time to read this, even if you think less of me for it.
